A tribute to bad underwear

Photo credit: Universal Pictures

A show and tell of the knickers, and the stories, you *never * thought you’d share                                                                                                                                    


Ok, so underwear isn’t top of mind right now. But *confession* I’m wearing it as I type and I’ll hazard a guess that you are too… We’re still putting it on every morning, taking it off every night and if we’re honest, apart from leggings and a tee, it’s basically the new workwear. So, we couldn’t help but wonder, what better time to reflect on the state of our knicker drawers?!

We’re all familiar with the common underwear issue; sexy = totally impractical and wildly uncomfortable vs. comfortable = alarmingly unattractive. And a magical hybrid between the two?! Doesn’t (currently…wink) exist.

Knowing this, we’ve spent the last six months working with 150 of you through our CO.LAB.2 initiative on what comes next and in the process, we’ve learnt A LOT about your knickers. These are the stories that inspired us to design better ones and were too good not to share. So, we thought we would host a little “show and tell”… Consider this a tribute to bad knickers, long may they be forgotten.

Question 1 - Kicking it off: worst knickers? And why?

It's got to be briefs for me. Controversial, I know. The lines just feel odd sitting on my butt cheeks. (Lara)

Those girl boxers with that button at the front – can someone explain why that button exists?! (Fran)

Lacy underwear because it is always SO SO SO itchy. I can’t bear it. (Reshma)

Thongs, obvs. They’re like flip flops…but not on your feet. (Louise)

Big, ruffle knickers. Move around too much and mess with clothing silhouettes. (Mae)

Anything that isn’t a thong. WHY? (Poorna)

Question 2 - Any underwear horror stories?

Yes! When I didn’t realise I had a pair of old underwear stuck down my trouser leg and they fell to the office floor. Argh, the memory is making me break out into a hot flush. I grabbed the underwear, ran to my desk and stuffed it into my drawer. (Reshma)

Lol, when I was wearing an seamless g-string and it completely snapped at the crotch. (Poorna)

When my see-through knickers flew from my washing line into my elderly neighbour’s garden. (Mae)

I once had a housemate who used to steal my knickers, so I started putting a coloured stitch in my labels (like the detective that I am) so I knew they were mine. (Rachel)

Plenty, but think they may be too risqué for this article! (Lara) Note: we are still convincing Lara to share… 

Question 3 - Honestly…how long have you owned THAT pair?

I think I came out of the womb wearing these. (Poorna)

Erm, I really have no idea. Ok, ok, don’t judge me...but I think circa 2010. (Reshma)

I’ve been wedded to them longer than my husband (we’ve been married for 13 years). (Rachel)

About a year. (Mae)

Question 4 - What's the deal with colour?

Rainbow all the way for me. (Lara)

A sad collection of has-been’s (black, white, pink). I’m convinced my washing machine was sent to sap any drop of colour out of every pair I own. (Fran)

Just black. All black everything. (Reshma)

Rainbow! Especially keen on jewel colours. (Mae)

I like to think I’m open to an array of colours, but black wins every time. (Poorna)

Question 5 - And finally, would you rather… Bridget’s in ‘Bridget Jones’ Diary’ OR Kylie’s in ‘Spinning Around’?

Bridget. All. The. Way. (Louise)

Good old Bridge – she knew a good pair when she saw them! (Rachel)

Kylie’s gold numbers, no question. (Fran)

Is a Heist pair an option? (Sophie)

I’d have to say commando. (Poorna)


A huge thank you to all of our show and tell participants for so boldly telling the stories they thought they would *never* share. And for the sake of who's dignity, we changed names.

Got some stories or knickers that rival ours? Get in touch via email or social (@heiststudios), we would love to see them. And, of course, we promise to keep them anonymous.


Further reading...